Dear Diary II
by RodIldKitsune
Summary: A remake of Kagura's diary oneshot, Kagome finds herself face to face with reality and finds herself confiding a heartfelt poem in her diary to help. Oneshot. R


_**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha of any sort. Stop making me say it, it hurts...**_

_**A/N: I wrote this b/c I was really upset about something and a good friend told me I should. So I did. Arigatou for reading and remember to R&R! And yea, it's a one-shot... And sort of a part to to Dear Diary, Kagura's diary...  
**_

Tears streamed down Kagome's face like miniature rivers, her body shaking with heavy sobs as she ran as fast as her feet could take her. She wasn't really sure where she was going, letting her feet lead her on. Voices called her name behind her, but she ignored them, racing on ahead of her. Her heart felt crushed, her body felt drained as if her whole happy spirit had lifted from her. And yet, as she ran into the middle of nowhere, she had not felt so energized in her life. She could feel the source of the energy burn in her mind, and tingle through out her body, and as she ran, an image burned behind her watery eyes.

_Flashback_

Kagome stirred, not quite sure what had awoken her. She looked around, rubbing at her eyes gently, feeling drowsy as she lifted up. It was still dark; obviously the middle of the night, and the fire had died down to simple glowing embers. She looked about blindly.

"Inuyasha?" she called out, voice still husky with sleep.

But no answer returned, so she erected herself more.

"Inuyasha are you there?" she called out again, louder this time, but still no answer.

A hush fell over her as she looked about feebly in the dark, but could not see Inuyasha's frame. She began to grow frantic, wondering if she should wake the others, when she paused.

Listening carefully, voices met her ears, and slowly she rose to her feet. She pulled at her mussed skirt, trying to yank out the wrinkles, but it was futile of course. She walked over to the direction of the voices, not able to make out what they were saying clear enough. She slipped past trees carefully, trying not to make any sounds as she stumbled blindly through the woods.

"Kikyou, please understand me."

Kagome paused. She recognized that voice anywhere. Her hanyou companion was the voice, and she assumed the person he spoke to was Kikyou.

"Inuyasha. There is nothing to understand."

Kagome stepped forward, desperately wanting to find out what was happening. She peaked behind a tree, seeing Inuyasha grasp Kikyou in his hand. His eyes blazed with passion Kagome had never seen before. She fought off the jealousy that nibbled at her ear.

"Kikyou. I've never loved anyone as I've loved you, and I never will. Please Kikyou. I want to go to hell with you."

Kikyou paused, simply staring at Inuyasha. Kagome muffled a gasp behind her hand. Was Inuyasha serious?

Then softly, but surely, the half demon bent in for a kiss, massaging his lips delicately over Kikyou's, enjoying the warm, caring sensation that surged through him. And Kagome watched. And she began to cry.

She couldn't contain her surprise, the gasp released into the night's air and both Kikyou and Inuyasha had heard it. She raced off, Inuyasha's eyes following her.

"KAGOME!" he cried, but she continued running.

_End of Flashback_

Kagome came upon the well, and without thinking, she dashed into it. She ran up to her house and up to her room, not saying anything to anyone. She threw herself on her bed and sobbed hysterically.

Minutes passed, slowly creeping into hours, and she finally lifted her head from her spit-stained pillow. Tears crusted her face and made it sticky, but she didn't care. She wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand and spotted her diary sitting on her desk. There had never been a time when she wanted to express herself more.

* * *

Just when I thought I knew you, 

Had you completely figured out,

You went and changed up on me,

180 degrees about…

You've entirely fooled me,

Stabbed out my heart,

Pain so unbearable,

I don't know where to start.

The very moment when,

You mentioned that other girl,

My soul started spinning,

It made me want to hurl.

How could you love her?

What could you possibly see?

Or maybe it isn't her,

Maybe it's just me.

Maybe I'm unlovable,

Incapable of being held,

Is it the way that I look?

Or the way that I smell?

Someone call out thief,

For you've stolen my life,

And then you squeezed it,

Stabbed it with a knife.

It had revolved around you,

You were my sun,

Then you went out,

Left me with nowhere to run.

Blinded by love,

I could not see the truth,

Now that my eyes are open,

I feel naked and uncouth.

The pain is unrealistic,

My future is unclear,

What shall I do,

When my protector isn't near.

You've tossed me aside,

Like a simple rag doll

Inuyasha it's over,

You chose Kikyou, that's all.

* * *

She closed her book and sighed, feeling utterly hopeless. She was not sure what to do next, but she had to return to the Sengoku Jedai, even if it was just to get her stuff. She rolled over on her bed. She felt it best not to think about it now. She knew she'd go back, knew she'd pretend like none of this had happened. And if she did, maybe the problem would go away. 

'Yea,' she told herself as she settled into a fresh pillow, 'It'll all just go away.'

And with those thoughts, she fell asleep, dreaming things she wished could be true.

Morning peaked through her window, and Kagome begrudgingly rose to her feet. She yawned, shaking off the last resonance of sleep, and stumbling off into the bathroom.

The room heated up quickly as hot water thundered from the showerhead. Kagome pealed off her school uniform, and stepped into the water. As the water trickled down her body, she reached for the shampoo bottle, scrubbing her hair under the hot, steamy water. And as she scrubbed at her raven locks, it was as if she was washing her problems away.

After freshening up and placing on a gray sweatshirt and jeans, she walked out into her bedroom and repositioned the burgundy comforter on her bed. She sighed, taking a seat on the mattress, and pulling her brush out from the nightstand.

Her fingers trailed through her raven tresses, the bristles of the brush making a soft whooshing sound as she pulled it down over her hair.

Thoughts slowly returned to her mind.

"Inuyasha." She moaned, placing the brush back in it's designated spot.

She rose to her sock clad feet, walking out the door to the kitchen downstairs. She wasn't sure what she wanted to eat, but eventually decided on just eating a bowl of cereal.

As she munched on the flakes, the scenes of last night returned to mind.

"I want to go to hell with you," he had said, and Kagome couldn't believe her ears. She sighed, dropping the spoon and walking to the front door. It must have still been early because everyone in the house was still asleep. She slipped on a pair of sneakers and sauntered out the door to the old well house.

Jumping in, she allowed the comfortable feeling of the blue aura engulf her, temporarily emptying her mind as she looked down into a dark blue vortex.

Finally, she hit ground, and slowly climbed out the well, landing in the Feudal Era. She loved the comforting familiarity of her surroundings, but dreaded having to return, knowing Inuyasha lurked about. And as if calling out his name…

"Kagome!" an exasperated voice screamed out, and Kagome sighed heavily.

"Inuyasha." She acknowledged, turning to face him.

She quickly looked down. Staring at someone had never seemed so hard.

"Kagome! What the hell where you thinking?"

Kagome's eyes widened.

"WHAT WAS I THINKING? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? RUNNING OFF TO HELL WITH KIKYOU!"

Inuyasha paused, simply staring at her. Kagome's body shook violently, threatening to break as if she'd explode.

"What's wrong?' Kagome mocked, "Dead girl got your tongue?"

Inuyasha eyes blazed with fury, but somehow he managed to hold his temper.

"I'm sorry, it's just…"

Inuyasha sighed, looking on the verge of tears.

Kagome frowned, feeling sympathetic to Inuyasha's sudden display of emotion. She wrapped her arms around him and let him rest on her shoulder. He sighed, sniffing in the crook of her slender neck. She'd never seen him like this.

"It's just, it's so hard to choose. Sometimes I just wish I could be with Kikyou, and stay dead with her forever, and other times I feel like…"

He stopped, standing up to his full height as looking defiant as if none of this had happened. Not a tear was shed.

"Come on Kagome. We have jewel shards to detect."

He trailed off, a distant look in his amber eyes. But Kagome made no protest. Maybe it was best to put this all behind them. She could see how the subject pained Inuyasha to even think about. The most she could do was be nearby for him, and she was sure that's all he asked.

But even as she followed the hanyou, the words of her diary still stuck in her mind.

And an ending part suddenly came to mind.

And though my heart grieves,

And a relationship can never be,

I love you Inuyasha,

Even a blind man can see.

_**A/N: I didn't end it b4, but it's ended now. Enjoy and R&R DANG IT!**_


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